Reflections on Feminism (or its lack) in today's culture

Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique was published 50 years ago. The idea that women had actual rights and were every bit as capable and entitled to the same or  equivalent opportunities as men was revolutionary and set a generation on fire. And change happened.

Fifty years later where are we? The backlash from religious ultraconservatives was and is to be expected. Centuries of being told that women were inferior to men and should be subjugated to male rule "for their own good" made taking the ability to determine one's own destiny from those who wanted to make that determination for you difficult. What is disappointing is the backlash from women of the last two generations and the apathy among teenage girls. The apathy may be more explainable; they simply didn't see the sexism of the earlier generations. They have the opportunities that their grandmothers and great-grandmothers fought to secure; why should they fight to move further?

No, it is the women in their 20's and 30's that disappoint me more. Instead of taking up the banners of equality and opportunity, they complain that feminists have ruined it for them. Now, they are "expected" to go out and work or are "looked down on" for choosing to stay home. They seem to have forgotten this is not an issue simply about equal pay for equal work or breaking the glass ceiling or being able to choose to go out to work or stay home. The greater goal was and is changing attitudes, changing the mindset. This should be about choice for everyone -- women and men. I heard a woman comment that she was lucky she had a husband who liked to cook and stay home so she could work and go to school. But really she is lucky simply to have that choice. Most men do not feel they have the choice to stay at home or go out to work. If they did, how many would? Would more men take the opportunity to be "house-husbands" and let their wives work?**

I think younger women continue to think from a position of privilege. As women, we have this choice (in theory -- for some, economics have taken their choices away), and the choices seem mutually exclusive: you can't be one and be the other as well unless you are some sort of superwoman and even then you are ridiculed. This is sexism in disguise. That we as women must have special considerations or accommodations makes us weak. We don't need "special" anything; we need to recognize that we all -- women and men -- deserve the right to exercise our choices. To continue to relegate this to "just a women's issue" and to argue that feminists are hurting women in the long run is to be disrespectful of the achievements of those who fought that today's women can have opportunities. It is short-sighted and pretends the fight should be finished. This attitude ignores the call to take the banner and lead the next wave.

Human beings as autonomous individuals should have the right to choose in all aspects of their lives. Equal rights regardless of sex, race, sexual orientation, etc, should be a non-issue in the 21st century. But it's not. And because it's not, I will continue to be a feminist and fight for and promote equal rights for all.

**All my examples here involve heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples and polyamorous mixed-sex groups lend different perspectives and additional questions. Perhaps we'll explore them at a later time.