Difficult afternoon

I'm finally starting to feel soemwhat better. The crushing depression is lifting, and I have a little more energy. However, Mother has been particularly frustrating today. She's asked the same questions -- mainly where's her mama and daddy and when is she going home and now, can she go to bed (at 5:45 in the evening) -- every few seconds. I am not exaggerating. It's wearing having to tell her that her mama and daddy have been dead for decades and not know if she's going to be upset this time or notm then have to answer the same question seconds later. I really do mean seconds, hardly enough time to get back to my desk.

It's fortunate that she knows who she is and can remember family, even if not in the current time and place. Things could be far worse. But some days it doesn't feel like it.

To top it off, I found my dream job. At this point, though, being able to work an on-site job is impossible. Sometimes, at-home work isn't possible either.

I feel like shit. I have for awhile now.

24 hours later. A new day. Feel a little better than yesterday. I got up before 1 p.m. as if it matters, but still...

I'm depressed. I'm angry. I'm restless. I feel isolated. I feel trapped. I feel like a real shit for feeling any of this. Writing it down makes nothing better; it just sounds whiny. It's not near as bad as it feels; so why I'm whining about it?