Sunday, October 9, 2016
I just finished reading John Beckett's latest blog entry
over at Under the Ancient Oaks. This
quote sticks with me.
Over time (years, not months), regular spiritual practice plus a deep understanding of your religion plus first-hand experiences of the Gods will build a foundation that will weather any crisis of faith.
I know I should practice daily devotions for my spiritual
well-being the same way I know I should eat a healthy diet and exercise
regularly for my physical well-being.
However, like those things I'm forever making excuses not to do
them. While my life currently is chaotic
and stressful, most of my excuses aren't really valid. I could make time if I wanted, get up a
little earlier, not cruise Facebook as much.
I'm not lacking space if I just move some things around and clean out a
corner. There's not really any reason to
be fearful or embarrassed about performing devotions; no person is actually
watching.
But…
And that's a big but.
Those obstacles aren't real, but they still loom large in my path. Fear of starting something I can't finish or
something that will truly suck.
Something that will make people feel differently about me. Or maybe make me feel differently about
others. These fears are real, and they
paralyze me at times. And so, I
procrastinate and avoid looking at the obstacle for a while, often too long and
the opportunity is missed.
I am a pathological, chronic procrastinator, and I'm working
on that. Part of that work is this
blog. I'm sitting here at almost 1 a.m.
Monday morning trying to finish Sunday's post since I spent the day cruising
Facebook, playing computer games, taking a nap, and staring at a blank
page. Another part is making small daily
offerings to my recent ancestors and to my housewight, and I manage to do this every
day. These are small things, but I'm
doing them. And tomorrow, I'll try to do
a little more…for myself and for my Gods.
Sunday, October 2, 2016
I've been paying closer attention to my dreams lately. Someone had mentioned a few days ago that she knew Samhain was near because old friends that had passed were visiting her dreams more often. And I realized the same was happening to me. Twice, an old friend visited. I didn't realize that he was dead in the dreams; we just chatted and spent some time together. We even talked a bit about the illness that took him finally. I hope this sort of dream continues; I enjoy visiting with those I've lost.
In paying closer attention, I've also seen a definite correlation between my dreams and the external world and the turning season. The other night I dreamt about how much I loved autumn. I walked with a staff through a tree-filled park, aflame with fall color. I stirred the fallen leaves on the ground; I lay in the green grass; I spoke of the anticipation of the silvering of the trees in wintertime. I felt happy and contented, walking about the park.
I'm looking forward to more correlations between my dreams and the waking world and exploring the insights they present.
Monday, September 26, 2016
Yes, I know today is not Sunday, but I spent most of yesterday in contemplation of my religious work. So today is the day I'm going to write about my (current) conclusions.
I started my work on ADF's Dedicant Path in earnest 6 years ago. In that time, I've started, sputtered, and stalled many times. I've managed to complete the High Day attendance requirement, mostly because the were all held at my home and I was the ritual leader. I read 3/3 of the books required and written 2/3 of the reviews. I've been an officer in Druid grove. I've been a leader in my local community. However, managing my own inner spiritual work has been pushed aside for the external. It's time to step back and check the map. I'm not sure where I am precisely anymore. I thought about putting my intentions here and ask to be held accountable, but that's not anyone's responsibility but my own. I will hold myself accountable and post my progress as well as my insights here. I will keep working. Perseverance is a Virtue, after all.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Today was ritual day. I led a blessing rite at the local metaphysical bookstore/coffee shop. It was a quiet rite with only a handful of people attending. It wasn't like most of the rituals I've led which were full of energy and typically left me a little jazzed and tired at the same time. Today was subdued but not without its own power.
It was, though, a welcome counterpoint to yesterday. Yesterday was the annual psychic fair at the same shop. It was busy and energetic with plenty of customers making certain the readers were booked up. My own day was busy enough with errands to run as well as attending the fair and getting a reading or two of my own.
My first reading pointed out just how busy I was. I was told I definitely needed to ground and relax, have some fun. I didn't really get a chance to until it was sort of done for me during today's ritual -- as if the Kindreds knew I needed less oomph! and more TLC. Loving, calm, soothing energy -- for me at least (I won't speak for anyone else there today).
My life has been a bit stressful the past year -- my mother came to live with us and my oldest sister is now living in an assisted living facility -- with me the primary caregiver and contact for other family members that live in other parts of the country. Needless to say, I'm either strung wire-tight or comatose; I have no in-between. Ritual planning and organizing can be nerve-wracking, but taking the time ritual and stepping away from the everyday bustle to connect with Kindreds can be restful and rejuvenating. This is something that I would do well to remember.
Sunday, September 4, 2016
A major portion of my religion revolves around ancestor veneration. The idea that our ancestors are nearby and take a vital interest in us is one that those same ancestors would have readily understood. I've been thinking lately how that idea fits with my own Druidry.
I was raised Southern Baptist (don't ask what the difference between that and simply Baptist is; I know the difference now as an adult but had no clue then), but our ancestors -- at least recent ones -- were a very important part of our family rituals. Every May and July, the cemeteries where my maternal and paternal grandparents were buried had a Decoration Day. These were days that the families of those interred there came to visit the graves and lay new flowers or decorations on them. For a couple of weekends prior, volunteers would go out and clean up the cemeteries, mowing the grass, picking up leftover decorations, et cetera.
I remember these days as big events. We would attend the church service and then head to the rec hall for a potluck dinner on the grounds. We would eat at tables set up in the rec hall or take our plates outside and sit amongst the headstones picnic-style. It was never a somber time. Visiting with aunts and uncles and cousins you haven't seen in almost a year. Talking with an elderly family member that remembered your mother as a little girl. I have many great memories of Decoration Days.
That ancestor veneration continued in our household as well. While not a formal shrine, my mother maintained a wall of family photographs that included not only current living members but deceased family. Their stories were shared and their names and faces remembered. Our children were introduced to their ancestors in this way.
All this makes Druidry familiar to me. Ancestors played a large part in childhood. Death wasn't fearsome and mysterious or hidden from us. It was couched in Christian terms, but we were assured that Death was not the end. Now, I still believe that. I can feel my ancestors with daily when I say, "Good morning" and pour them a cup of coffee and when I stand in ritual and invite them to join me at the fire.
No matter what spiritual road my children decide to travel, I want them to learn these lessons as well. I want them to know when they go out to the cemetery and place flowers on the grave of a grandparent, it is acknowledged and appreciated. Our ancestors want us to remember. In return, they guide and watch over us.
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